Our Chair

Turns 40 !

Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery. In order to honor Tim Pennings on this his 40th birthday, you are hereby invited to imitate Tim in any or all of the following ways:

Eccentric Behaviors

40. Wrap your bike lock chain around your bike. Take care to NOT actually lock the bike.
39. Calculate when you are exactly pi to the pi power years old.
38. Decorate your front yard with a large rusty metal sculpture.
37. Find a vacation spot that will allow you to work rather than pay $$.
36. Mail the contents of a dustpan to a friend. (Or is that former friend?)
35. Monopolize the microphone whenever Karaoke is available.
34. Monopolize all the storage space in the freezer and cupboards at work.
33. Work day and night at your job.
32. Decorate someone's shoe with a carnation.
31. Post bizarre newspaper articles outside your office door. Leave them to ripen until they fall off the wall.
30. Walk across campus with your coat on backwards.
29. Walk the wrong direction on a people mover in a large airport.

Compulsive Behaviors

28. Whistle a show tune (O...klahoma...where the wind comes sweeping...).
27. Collect combs found on the ground and store them in a jar.
26. Tell the same story 40 times. (Double that for a really good story.)
25. Exclaim over and over "What a great day this is!"
24. Break into song. ("Jimmy Crack Corn" and "Shall We Gather the River?" will give you the most imitation points.)
23. Summon passersby into your office with "Com'ere and lookit this!"
22. Answer your phone by saying "Tim here."
21. Carry a cereal bowl around the office hallway while eating breakfast.
20. Mix 3 types of cereal in that bowl according to the following recipe:
  • layer of Nabisco Shredded Wheat
  • layer of Kellogg's Raisin Bran
  • thinner layer of Post Grape Nuts

In the Classroom

19.Give an impossible test.

Leisure

18. Play racketball.
17. Play ultimate frisbee. (Extra imitation points if you collide with a student while playing.)
16. Lift weights.
15. Bake banana bread and share it with your colleagues.
14. Play your guitar in the Kletz.

Appearance

13. Dress as tackily as possible. (Preferred choice is frayed flannel shirt, shorts, sandals and socks.)
12. Work at going bald.
11. Throw away all your ties except one very narrow knit one.
10. Wear the same outfit for an entire week, longer if you are really SERIOUS about honoring Tim.

Attitudes

9. Over-analyze a holiday performance of "Sleigh Ride."
8. Argue passionately about anything.
7. Carry the "tight-wad Dutchman" stereotype to the extreme.
6. Don't ever consider a serious romantic attachment.

Relationships

Relax, she's his sister.

Technology

5. Delete ALL the subject designations on your email messages.
4. Make spelling and punctuation errors; do not proofread.
3. Send a very private and personal message to the wrong email address.
2. Generally ignore any and all technological advances.

AND FINALLY,

the most significant way to honor Tim Pennings today would be to:
1. Spend 40 years ignoring any and all admonitions to "Grow up!"

Tim and his evil twin, also called Tim.

We wonder which one we wound up with.

 Our Chair's idea of Season's Greetings.
Three Chairs saying "Cheers" in Tijuana, Mexico
Tim and his twin raking leaves.

Tim and a friend at graduation.

"Graduating from what?" we might ask.

And finally, Tim's family
all dressed up for a hike in the woods.

Return to Tim's regular web page:

www.math.hope.edu/pennings.